A little old man boards a bus with a bowling wood in each of his front pockets.
He sits down next to a beautiful young lady, and she can’t help but glance quizzically at the man and his bulging pockets. It’s an uneasy few minutes before, finally, the little old man can take no more.
“Bowling balls,” he nods reassuringly.
The lady seems a little shocked, and stares on. Moments later, she says: “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”
How was your bowling game?
How was your bowling game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.
“Well, I was bowling well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the bowl went.”
“But you’re seventy-five years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?” “But he’s eighty-five and doesn’t even bowl anymore,” protested Jack.
“But he’s got perfect eyesight. He could watch your bowl,” Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack bowled with Scott looking on. Jack bowled to a long jack. “Do you see it?” asked Jack.
“Yes,” Scott answered. “Well, where is it?” yelled Jack, peering up the green.
Four bowlers were out on the ‘Green’ practising. As one of them was about to bowl at the 15th end, which was next to a busy road, they saw a funeral precession go by. Instead of bowling, the bowler removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.
At this point, the other three said, “You know, that was the most touching thing I’ve ever seen.”
And the bowler answers, “Well, I was married to her for 15 years. It was the least I could do!”
Skip was having a hard time
In Hunstanton Cliff Parade Bowls Club, a well known skip was having a hard time from the other three in his team who had failed to contribute anything throughout the game.
At the last end the third walked down to the mat to play his first bowl and pausing, shouted back up the rink. “Where’s our nearest bowl?”.
“In yer ******* hand!”, answered the skip.
"There's nothing wrong with saying hard luck!
Just learn to do it without the snigger."